When

There comes a time
in everyone's life
when want becomes need,
when a house becomes a street,
a field becomes a moutain.

But there's also another time,
when a recieving hand
must become a giving one,
when a gift must become a present.
when learning must become teaching.

When sympathy must become empathy.

Wasted Ambitions

     In the middle of the Depression, having big hopes and dreams was a hard. Curley's wife in Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck understood this statement; she was rejected countless times. Although at the beginning of the novella, she seemed simplistic and shallow, Curley's wife became more complex. She had dreams of being in movies, but her motivation was actually quite simple; she wanted independence and respect.
     The workers of the ranch tried to tell her that Curley's hand had been broken by a machine, but she had not been fooled; "What you think you're sellin' me?" she had accused. Curley's wife seems dim, but in actuality she is intelligent when situations boiled down to logic. She doesn't want to be seen as a dainty and fragile house wife, because she feels like she has a much greater capacity for purpose than just cooking and cleaning.
     Though Curley's wife is a beautiful woman, she puts herself on display because she wants to be admired. She continually mixes respect and attention. Because of the time period she lives in, the idea of her being treated like a person, instead of an object, seems impossible to aqcuire. Curley's wife does not want to be a "tramp," or a "tart," but she "ain't wanted anywhere else." She doesn't feel content, because she is always being passed around, whether it be from man to man, or from place to place.
     Everything this woman has ever strived towards seems to slip through her fingers. Though Curley's wife "don' like Curley," she married him in the hopes that he would take her someplace. At first, she believed he had bigger ambitions than he actually turned out to have. Instead of walking down the red carpet, she got stuck at his father's ranch, seemingly at the end of her road.
     Although Curley's wife has had dreams of "bein' somebody," she also has the true desire to just be seen. She wants to be seen as a woman, but as a real person, also. She wants to gain enough respect so that she doesn't have to depend on anyone else but herself. Her future always depended on someone else, and she became tired of it. She felt lost in the idea that she would never have the admiration that she wanted from others, and through that came her own self-descruction.

Vintage Couture

     I walk down the Main Street of Batesville, and I look through the windows of shady video game stores, homely clothing shops, and abandoned businesses of years past. As I step on the same sidewalks of our entrepreneur ancestors, I can see the history of our town in every sign and every window. Glancing up, I see the neatly-made sign of a fairly new boutique: Impulse; I smile. I smile because this makes me feel as though we haven't given up on our history- our roots. On the contrary, it is being promoted with newly painted buildings, and the bustling of the young and old. Main Street has not been forgotten. No, in fact it has taken the unique culture of our generation by the hand, and is charging into the future.

9/11 Paragraph

     Though the attack on the twin towers was extremely traumatizing to not only the USA, but to the whole western world, one thing that stands out to me the most is the patriotism that came afterwords. What I mean by this is that we, as a nation, came together; "we responded with the best of America." The "deliberate and deadly terrorist acts" could not tear our strong country apart. In fact, people from all over the nation came to "help in any way they could," because like President Bush said in his speech, we "reunite in our resolve for justice and peace." 9/11 will never fade from our hearts, but we will use it to push forward into a better future, together- one nation, under God.

I Am...

I am beautiful and set free.
I wonder if I will ever fill my purpose.
I hear a whisper in the wind.
I see with faith.
I want to live life fully and deeply.
I am beautiful and set free.

I pretend that I don't need anyone.
I feel love surrounding me.
I touch the wonderful creations around me.
I worry that I'll have regrets.
I cry because others have hurt.
I am beautiful and set free.

I understand that I can't fix everything or anyone.
I say, Love is Real.
I dream that I will help the world.
I try to always move on.
I hope that I give others hope.
I am beautiful and set free.

A Mixed Up Romance

     In the book, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brönte, it opens with a narrator that is also the main character; her name is Jane Eyre (surprised?). One thing that really stood out to me while reading this book is how afraid people are of falling in love. The man she loves, Mr. Rochester, very obviously loves her back even from the start of her career working for him. However, they let obstacles get in the way of their happiness together.
     I think that love is taken for granted way too often. To find love--whether it be in a romantic, spiritual, or a brotherly love-- is a great achievement; it's something to treasure. In Jane Eyre, the two main characters whom I mentioned earlier fall deeply in love. Though Mr. Rochester is almost 20 years older than Jane, and Jane is his employee, love hits them nonetheless. But, apparently Mr. Rochester is married even though he says it means nothing. Then, Jane feels like she has become an object to him, that his love is a favor to her. Jane leaves and gets proposed to, but she is still in love of course. So she says no. She eventually goes back to Mr. Rochester and he's blind and has lost a hand. They reconcile, get married and live happily ever after.
     Anyhow, needless to say, the characters aggravated me.  I understand that doubt and insecurity can get in the way of relationships, but seriously, if you love a person nothing else should matter. Love can get you a lot further than a social status, a job, or pride. Love is by far the greatest and most powerful force in the world, and shouldn't be pushed aside because of everyday mishaps and situations. Sometimes it can either hurt or heal, but you have to decide if love is worth it.

Good Enough

     A lot of people, young and old, have a problem of not feeling good enough, whether it be because of a parent or someone they look up to. The song Good Enough by Lifehouse is the story of a person who feels like no matter what they do, this other specific person will never be happy with them. He tries to do all these different things to make this person proud, but no matter what, he never feels "good enough" for the person. The artist just wants to show that he wishes that he would be accepted as he is. People keep telling him to move on and forget it, but he can't.  He says that he still loves this person. He concludes that he is his own person, and tells whoever he is talking to, "being like you, isn't good enough for me." 
     Whats the difference between moving on and giving up on a person?  You can't change a person, but you can change your own reaction to them.  You can't make their problems your problems, and it's hard to come to terms with that, but in able to move on, you have to make that decision.  However, that doesn't mean leaving the person. I agree with the artist when he says, "I won't let you go, I won't let you down, so don't give up on me now." Love means caring, helping, and encouraging unconditionally.
     No one should ever feel like they aren't good enough. Everyone was made specially and carefully, and are their own person. I found this song to be very helpful in my own life-- it made me realize you can't carry the whole world on your shoulders, that you have to let your burdens go, and move on.

Kiki's Living Hell

A journal entry for "The Girl Who Played with Fire"

By Sabrina Rubin Erdely

     Like any other young teenage girl Kirsten Ostrenga, popularly known as Kiki Kannibal, just wanted people to like her; to think she was cool and social, unlike her shy and reserved composure. However, no matter how innocent the intentions, her life began a spiral downfall. Due to the technological accessibility of this age, it is so easy to get caught up in the internet and think that you're untouchable. This mindset makes people naive as to the dangers of the internet.
     Kiki's road to destruction started small. It started with pictures of her with outrageous hair, and chic "scene" (a collaboration of bright colors and tight clothes) style being posted on MySpace, along with some videos. Not provocative videos, no, but there are some dangerous people out there. That's where the threats and the obsessions started. From comments like, "Can I crash with you? To refresh and reboot?" to, "I'll f****** murder you little girl." And that's not even the worst of it. She wakes up one morning to find "SLUT" painted across her garage. MySpace, nor the cops, could do anything about it. She was trapped. She was raped by her 18 year old boyfriend shortly after her 14 year old birthday. When she broke up with him, he committed suicide.
     Okay, timeout. Where are her parents? They're right there, in the same home. Scott and Cathy Ostrenga were married at the young age of 18, with dreams of law school and musical fame. Instead, they settled for a suburban life in Florida with their three kids: Kyler; Dakota; and Kirsten (Kiki). You can imagine that with their autistic son Dakota, and the fact that they are still kids themselves, they were overwhelmed. They homeschooled their three kids, and had plans for them. Had they no time to be the boundary-giving parents they needed to be? Parenting is hard. But that doesn't mean that their neglect didn't have an affect on Kiki. Now, they have to deal with the harassment that their daughter has brought upon herself, and her family.
     Where is she now? The Ostrengas have filed for bankruptcy, and are being sued by Danny's mother for "causing her son's suicide." Kiki is 18 years old, still dealing with the torment and the terrorizing. However, she is going to college for business and running her own jewelry line. She refuses to disconnect from online for two reasons. First off, she has to run her business. Secondly, without the internet she would have no connections. Outside of cyberspace, she has no real-life relationships. Kiki still pushes through, trudges toward the future in hopes of finding relief from hell on Earth.
     Many kids aren't being taught properly on the true dangers of the internet. Giving just the slightest bit of information can destroy a person. Even more, parents aren't limiting and monitoring their use of the internet. Without these restrictions, it is so easy to get addicted to pornography, online chat-rooms and social networks, and something as simple as a game. Technology is one of, if not the most, useful tool Man has created, but if put in the wrong hands, in can mean total destruction.

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